Two-thirds of married women over fifty are satisfied with their sex lives
According to new research, women become more satisfied with their sex lives as they get older - even though they have less sex - yet as men get older, they become less satisfied. The difference was found in a survey of 1000 50 plus UK women who were married or with long term partners and compared to a similar research among men from 2011. The survey was funded by Bayer Healthcare, designed and analysed by Kember Associates and conducted online by Opinion Health.
Whilst nearly three quarters of married/cohabiting women between ages 50 and 79 said they were satisfied with their sex lives, only half of men of the same age agreed1. Also, in those aged 50-59, 16% of men were very dissatisfied with their sex lives compared to only 10% of women. In those over 70 years old, this rises to a quarter (24%) of men being very dissatisfied and drops to 7% of women feeling the same way. Women were generally satisfied with their sex lives if they felt they were getting as much or as little sex as they wanted but the actual frequency itself was not a determinant of satisfaction.
Furthermore, when questioned on sex drive and sexual performance issues specifically, nearly two thirds (64%) of partnered women over 50 admitted that for a noticeable length of time their men have displayed a lack of sex drive and/or weak erections - both key symptoms of Testosterone Deficiency Syndrome (TDS), a condition which strikes 2% of men between 40 and 79 years old, is linked to diabetes and heart disease and characterised by low sex drive, erectile dysfunction (ED), depression and weight gain.
According to the women questioned, almost 6 in 10 (57%) of their partners met the full symptom criteria for TDS, yet less than a third had heard of it and only a quarter were aware of its association with type 2 diabetes and 18% of its links with circulatory problems. A quarter of women said they would never bring up such sexual issues with their partner even though many of them (34%) would like their husbands/partners to show more sexual desire. Among women whose husbands/partners displayed symptoms of TDS, nearly a quarter thought it might be a sign of a serious underlying condition, but only 17% sought medical advice.
Mary Clegg, Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist and chair of the British Association of Sexual Education (BASE) said "This research points to a number of interesting findings. Firstly, that levels of sexual satisfaction appear to be related to expectations and it seems that UK women are easily pleased in their later years - or at least, become easier to please than their husbands as time goes by, which may indeed be news to them. Secondly, that while the majority of partnered women over 50 say they are satisfied with their sex lives, half say their partner has lost sexual desire for them and / or have had poor erections and many of these women would like this to improve in one way or another".
She continues: "It seems that those who are happy with less sex as they get older see no reason to address an embarrassing issue and for those who are not satisfied, lowering expectations and putting changes down to normal aging appear to be the norm, rather than confronting any issues. Yet very few women are aware that these changes in sexual desire and performance could indicate TDS which has links to diabetes and heart disease and can only be diagnosed by a medical doctor. Whenever my clients come to see me about changes in a man's desire, in consideration with other factors, I will usually recommend that TDS is ruled out initially through a simple blood test and clinical assessment at the doctor's, before exploring other issues in the relationship. To determine whether a conversation with your doctor is worth having and to give you information and tips for having a discussion with your partner, please go to baseuk.org and download the TDS leaflet which includes a tool developed by independent medical professionals which a man can use to assess his symptoms."
In response to today's findings, Bayer HealthCare are launching a campaign called Stand By Your Man to help women spot the possible warning signs of TDS in their partner before crisis point is reached. A booklet will be available for download on the BASE website baseuk.org and includes information, tips for talking and a short questionnaire that men can take to help them determine whether they should seek medical advice.
Dr David Edwards, GP, specialist in sexual dysfunction and president of the British Society for Sexual Medicine said: "It is well known that women are much more likely than men to go to the doctor themselves and / or on behalf of their partners so the fact that so few do when their men are showing signs of TDS, is worrying. Women have a vital role in helping their men to confront embarrassing conditions which may have serious consequences if undiagnosed".
He continued: "We want many more women to understand that sexual dysfunction is not just a lifestyle condition and that seeking medical advice when symptoms have persisted for a while is important. There is now a wealth of evidence illustrating that early diagnosis and appropriate treatment can reverse TDS symptoms in a man and improve his overall health, diabetes and CVD risk. We must break down barriers to diagnosis and increase awareness so men and their partners don't have to suffer in silence".
When questioned on the frequency of sexual relations, only 18% of the over 50s in long term relationships said they had sex every day or every few days, with a similar proportion saying they had sex once a week. A further 21% had sex every couple of weeks or once a month, but the largest percentage was the 27% who had sex 'rarely'. Additionally 16% said they never had sex these days with their husband/partner, the same proportion as those who had answered 'every few days'. Women aged over 70 were significantly more likely to report that they rarely or never had sex with their husband/partner. When asked about how their sex lives could be improved, women were more interested in their husband/partner showing sexual desire than in new sexual techniques or toys.
Fiona Hooper, Brand Manager, General Medicine, Bayer HealthCare said: "Bayer is committed to men's health and is continuously striving to improve awareness and understanding of TDS. We hope that this new campaign will improve awareness but also help lessen the stigma".