Santa‘s an insurance nightmare before Christmas

With Santa and his helpers busy preparing for his annual sleigh ride, online car insurance specialist elephant.co.uk is hoping he doesn’t call for a quote.

His high mileage and high speed driving coupled with his fondness of an alcoholic tipple or two at Christmas would make him a high risk and his premium astronomical.

elephant.co.uk MD, Brian Martin said: “Santa’s mileage is huge, as the crow flies it’s about 64,000 miles around the world, but one of our elephant.co.uk policyholders comes close driving a whopping 60,000 miles. Of course, he does this over a year not in one night like Santa.

“However, Santa has a few hundred years on our oldest policyholder who’s 87 years old, and with a long driving history and no theft or accident claims, I imagine he has a few years no-claims bonus under his belt.”

To get around the world in one night, Santa would need to travel at an average speed of 2,700 mph - and that’s without any stops! Surely a speeding fine is inevitable sooner or later? At that speed, a ban would also be unavoidable. Santa might argue in court that his vehicle is essential to his job and a ban would bring heartache to millions of children all over the world.

Brian continued: “The fastest car we insure is the Lamborghini Murcielago but our underwriters would have a hard time working out an insurance group for Santa’s sleigh. They’re used to rating vehicles by the horsepower of their engines, but where does a sleigh with twelve reindeer power fit in?”

Santa’s tendency to enjoy an alcoholic tipple during his high-speed journey around the world would be another risk to consider when insuring his sleigh. Just think how many kids leave Santa a mince pie and a glass of brandy before they go to bed on Christmas Eve, and never wanting to disappoint, he never leaves any.