A children’s book every adult should read

Today sees the launch of a new children’s book that tackles the tricky subjects of severe illness and death through the eyes of a nine year old whose Nana is dying of the rare illness, Pulmonary Hypertension (PH) and a Stroke.

In My Nana Is An Alien, acclaimed children’s TV scriptwriter & producer, Diane Whitley manages to convey, with humour and compassion all the fears and doubts that any child might have when things haven’t been explained to them properly leaving their imagination to run wild.

When the central character Liam’s Nana is rushed into hospital, he is not only very worried but also convinced that something sinister is going on. Why is his Nana speaking a strange language? Has his Nana been captured by aliens? Is Todmorden the alien capital of the world? Is his Mum involved in a cover-up?

When it comes to understanding how kids tick the book’s author has proved her worth as a script writer & producer on award winning programmes like Children’s Ward, Grange Hill, Big Meg, Little Meg, and The New Worst Witch.

Perhaps Whitley does this so convincingly because of her personal experience, her mother, Hilda, died of PH in 2004 - inspiring her to write the book. “I realized when my mother was dying that things were not always made clear to the younger members of our family. Sometimes it’s difficult for adults to discuss illness and death to little ones. But they have as much right to know as anyone and not explaining things to them can lead to all kinds of problems as Liam knows!” explains Diane who believes the book is not just for children.

“It’s a kid’s book that every adult should read as it gives us a child’s eye view on this often bewildering world,” she added.

My Nana is an Alien is a deeply personal effort. The amusing illustrations are by Diane’s niece and Hilda’s granddaughter, Jo Allsopp – a professional artist and tutor. All proceeds from the book will be donated to the Pulmonary Hypertension Association UK (PHA-UK) and it can be bought via the charity’s Pha-uk.com website for 6.50 plus £1 postage and packaging.

So How Do We Tell The Children?

How to tell young children about the diagnosis of a life threatening condition is an issue raised frequently to the volunteers on the Pulmonary Hypertension Association (PHA-UK) UK’s helpline. Kay Yeowart, Deputy Chairperson of PHA-UK, the patient support charity who will receive all proceeds from sales of “My Nana Is An Alien” commented, “Pulmonary Hypertension is a serious life threatening progressive condition affecting both the lungs and the heart. Although treatable, like many serious illnesses the emotional ripple effect spreads throughout the family and many patients wonder how much to tell the children involved.”

The UK’s Views

A recent nationwide poll commissioned by PHA-UK, asked adults across the UK what they would do if they were faced with the dilemma of being the parent of a young child whose close relative had been diagnosed with a life threatening condition which required intensive treatment:

- 12% of people polled would only tell children a version of the truth when it became absolutely necessary.

- 45% of those polled would only tell children what they felt they needed to know.

- 33% stated they’d give the children as much information as possible.

- 3%, would not tell the children at all of the relative’s condition.

- 3% wouldn’t know how to tell the children about the relative’s condition.

Philip Hodson, a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, offers this advice: “A parent’s approach depends partly on the situation and partly on the child, but it needs careful consideration. If there is a risk to the life of the close relative, you probably do need to tell the child. If you don’t tell or pretend all is well you’ll communicate your own anxiety instead and you’ll teach the child fear of sadness, sorrow and reality. You don’t want to burden the child with unnecessary information or become too alarmed by what you have to tell them but use the age appropriate language – the child’s own language. “

He added, “What you tell them has got to be enough to account for the changes that the illness will cause to the child’s own routine.. So, if Nana is going to be away suddenly for a number of days or weeks, is going to look ill or maybe die, then you’ve got to start an age appropriate dialogue”

“Your manner and tone are extremely important. The key is to be reassuringly calm, and that calmness comes not so much from what you say but the way that you say it. Pick a good time that will allow the child the chance to ask questions and try to lead into breaking the bad news.

“Perhaps start with, “I’ve got some important things I need to tell you. So let’s settle down.” Then once they are focusing on you fully, maybe continue by saying, “There’s going to be something happening and Nana has got to see the doctor and Nana has got an illness. It’s difficult for her and for us and it’s going to mean that this and this and this is going to happen.” Then, you’ve got to be prepared for lots of questions Younger children tend not to absorb information in one click; they tend to go backwards and forwards with it, so be patient with them.

“Don’t over-alarm the child with your answers but don’t duck the issue either, so it’s “Yes Nana is not well” and If the child replies, “Is it going to be that Nana can’t live her life as she used to?” if you don’t have the foggiest the answer is, “Well, we’re not entirely sure.” Don’t volunteer lots and lots of unnecessary medical information, but stress that you love the child, that Nana loves the child, and Nana would much rather be at home than in the hospital.”

For more information, visit Pha-uk.com.