The modern world of moving etiquette

As a nation, we are moving more often than ever before with the average person expected to move 6 times in their life.

But does this, along with the time constraints of modern living, mean that we no longer make the effort to greet new neighbours and instead just observe them from behind net curtains?

New research from Halifax Estate Agents has examined modern moving etiquette and the fledgling relationship between new neighbours.

Interestingly, it found that less than one in four people would be offended if new neighbours didn’t introduce themselves and almost half (46%) have never received as much as a welcome card – let alone a house-warming present.

Making the first move

Almost half of those surveyed (48%) believe it is up to the existing residents to make the first move and introduce themselves to the newcomers. Just 18% would expect the people moving in to find time between moving furniture to say ‘hello’ to their new neighbours.

However, 18 to 24 year olds are more likely to be proactive and make the first move with one quarter (24%) saying the onus falls upon the newcomers, compared to 55% of over 65 year olds who feel the duty lies with existing residents.

Getting these initial steps right can be essential to getting the relationship off to a good start as almost one quarter (22%) would consider it rude if neighbours didn’t introduce themselves. Although this leaves a majority of 76% who would take no offence and happily live next door to people whose name they didn’t know.

Home owners in the Midlands appear to be slightly more sensitive with 29% saying they would find it rude for new neighbours not to introduce themselves, compared to just 19% in the North and 20% in the South.

Younger movers (82% of 18 to 24 year olds) also consider introductions less important than 45 to 54 year olds, 27% of whom would be offended if they were not approached with an introduction.

Not only is it important to decide who makes the first move, but also when the all-important first meeting should take place. Nearly half (49%) think two to seven days, or within the first week, is about the right length of time to leave before making introductions.

Around one in six (16%) are keen to get to know their new neighbours on the first day on the street. Meeting within 24 hours of crossing the threshold is deemed appropriate by one quarter (25%) of those aged 65 or over.

One in five (20%) of people living in the South feel it is reasonable to wait a couple of weeks before disturbing new neighbours. This rises to 23% in London but falls as low as 13% in Yorkshire and Humberside.

Bearing gifts

The social minefield of getting to know new neighbours continues when deciding what, or if, you should present a welcome gift.

Most of us (37%) tend to play it safe and stick to a greeting card, which is closely followed by the traditional offering of a plant or flowers (23%). However, anybody receiving anything at all from new neighbours should count themselves honoured as a huge 41% of those surveyed have never received anything.

Alcohol is a popular option in Scotland where over a quarter (27%) have been welcomed to a new neighbourhood with a bottle of wine. But those in the North region seem to be least generous as well over half (57%) have been left empty handed on moving home.

It appears that the tradition of inviting new neighbours round for a drink is also a dying custom as around three quarters (73%) of people have never received such an invitation.

However, the convention is still practised by around a third (32%) of 55 to 64 year olds, and nearly half (46%) of people in Wales.

First impressions

Whether neighbours introduce themselves, enjoy a drink together, or never meet at all, opinions are still likely to be formed on both sides. One in eight people (12%) make up their mind immediately, but for 43% of us it can take a month or more for us to make up our minds about what the new comers are like.

Judgements are made much quicker for 18 to 24 year olds, more than a half of whom (54%) have decided on whether they like their new neighbours within a week of moving in.

A fifth of 25-34 year olds do not even need to meet face-to-face, with 21% admitting to making judgements based purely on the furniture being moved into the house.

Colin Kemp, managing director for Halifax Estate Agents, comments, “It appears that the days of everyone on a street knowing each others names and making an effort to welcome new residents are fast disappearing. Long working hours and busy lifestyles could partly be to blame.

“However, it would be heart warming to think that there will continue to be some sense of community spirit in towns and villages across the UK. Good neighbourhood relationships can be invaluable, for instance having someone to keep an eye on the house or feed the cat whilst you’re away or a first port of call when you’re run out of sugar!”