No sex please – we’ve got bad backs!
Back pain is now the most common reason for couples to stop having sex, says national charity BackCare.
The cliched excuse of "not tonight, I've got a headache" has been replaced by the reality of a bad back getting in the way of people's love lives.
BackCare, the charity for healthier backs, have responded to this by publishing a comprehensive 'how to' sex guide for people with back pain. This is the only "in print" book available on this subject ("A Sex God and Goddess's Guide for People with Back Pain").
With 80% of people in the UK likely to be affected by back pain at some stage in their life a detrimental impact on the quality of people's relationships is a natural consequence.
In a recent online survey 72% of those with back pain said it had caused a reduction in their sex life. 46% were abstaining completely. One in four people who split up admit that a lack of sex triggered their divorce.
"A Sex God and Goddess's Guide for People with Back Pain" is officially endorsed by advice columnist and New Joy of Sex author Susan Quilliam, the book argues that an active sex life is one of the best ways to manage pain. Endorphins produced during sex counter pain signals as well as reducing feelings of fear and anxiety.
Sean McDougall, acting CEO of BackCare, says: "Growing old and getting back pain are natural bedfellows. But that doesn't mean you can't have fun with your other bedfellow. Having a healthy sex life is one of the best ways to manage back pain, and it may help to protect your relationship too. This year, we want to help a million middle-aged men and women reactivate their love lives, especially those for whom a bad back may have gotten in the way of romance."
Claire Arnold has struggled with back pain for two years, despite being a registered osteopath. She says that she and her husband have had to find clever ways to put the spark back into their relationship.
Claire says: "We have tried positions that placed less strain on my back and other activities such as massage. But above all the importance of communication cannot be underestimated, and without that there is the real danger of resentment in the relationship. I hope this book will help couples be open with each other about sex and their back pain and I will be recommending this book to friends and patients alike."
Susan Quilliam says: "Given the sheer number of people affected, I find it incredible that it is still seen as some sort of taboo issue. This new book from BackCare will help thousands of people step back from the brink of celibacy and instead enrich their love lives despite suffering back pain. Even people in chronic pain can sustain a satisfying sexual relationship with a partner as long as both people are prepared to talk about the problem and follow the advice in this book, the only in-print title on this subject."
Susan's review of the book can be found at: backcare.org.uk
The 124 page book illustrates a number of different sexual positions to relieve stress on the partner with the bad back. Other chapters offer advice on how to get in the mood, what to do to turn each other on, and even the role of the five senses.
Brian Hammond, a respected chiropractor and osteopath who has worked with BackCare for many years, agrees: "All five senses can be stimulated in ways that reduce the severity of back pain. This book will help you take out the ouch and put in the ooh."
A Sex God/Goddesses' Guide can be purchased at: backcare.org.uk
BackCare provides education and information for people affected by back pain through its website, publications, telephone helpline and local branches. BackCare also funds research and regularly campaign to raise the profile of issues surrounding back pain (registered as the National Back Pain Association, charity number 256751).
