When ‘no’ means Noël

It's all very well telling people 'don't get me anything' this Xmas-but how will you feel when they really don't? Christmas has a knack of provoking weird behaviour in otherwise sensible people. Deep down we want fantastic presents so why do we tell everyone they absolutely must not get us anything? If they do we can scarcely live with the guilt, and if they don't, we're gutted. No wonder they call it the silly season. How are people supposed to know if 'No' really means 'Noël'?

A new survey reveals that two thirds of us admit to lying about what we really want for Christmas because we don't want people to spend too much money on us. In the current climate, half of us are telling our nearest and dearest to save their pennies and not to buy us a gift this Christmas. Best friends are the ones we're most likely to ask not to buy us anything, whereas family members stand a greater chance of getting lumbered. Especially grandparents, for some strange reason.

Body language expert Judi James explains that our Christmas confusion has its roots in the very foundations of human behaviour. "It's clear from this survey that what should be a small and pleasurable display of generosity and appreciation is in fact a psychological 'survival' ritual," she explains.

In the event that people actually take us at our word and we end up gazing at an expanse of carpet beneath the tree where our pressie ought to be, the majority of us confess that it gives us a sharp pain under the baubles. With lower lip just slightly a-quiver, 17% of us say it would've been nice to get something-it didn't have to be a diamond-studded replica of the Taj Mahal, ok? One in ten people are rather more blunt. "Everyone expects presents," they pout, "so of course it's disappointing."

"The size of the gift prompts surprisingly high levels of guilt from both the giver and the receiver," James says. "Guilt if the gift is too expensive, guilt if we dislike it and guilt if we feel we haven't spent enough. Add this to the face-to-face aspect of the gift-giving, and it's clear we're being coerced into annual displays of lying body language in a bid to suppress disappointments and pretend we're more delighted than we are."

If we do actually receive a gift but it turns out to be naff, we're no more upfront about our disappointment than we would be if we'd received nothing. In fact, according to the research by TK Maxx, over 20% of us act like we've just been given an Oscar!

For more information visit tkmaxx.com.