Having Twins Puts Relationships to The Test

Almost half of parents with twins or more feel the cost of having a multiple birth family has put a strain on the relationship with their partner, new research has shown.

A survey of more than 1,000 families by Tamba,The Twins and Multiple Births Association, also found that 55 per cent couldn’t go out as a family as often as they would like and that 57 per cent had no opportunity to spend quality time with their partner.

Forty-five per cent said financial demands put a strain on their relationship and more than a fifth (22 per cent) said they had considered separating from their partner.

The figures are published this month by Tamba as part of a major relationship survey after parents of twins or more told them that relationship worries were second only to financial pressure.

Tamba director, Helen Forbes said: “Some found the first year most challenging, with a lack of practical help rated highly as a stress factor, whilst those who found the pre-school or school age most challenging, the multiples’ behaviour, finances and couple relationship difficulties all put the family under stress.

“It’s also common for couples to find the antenatal period the most challenging, although keeping on top of other responsibilities was rated the highest stress factor, anxiety over the health of the babies was rated above lack of sleep.

“It is concerning that so many parents are feeling the strain. Our research shows just how important our on-going work to highlight the needs of families are, plus our working with the Child Poverty Action Group in its campaign for a fairer deal for multiple birth families through an equal amount of Child Benefit for each sibling.

“When you have twins or more, there are no hands-me down from older children and specialist equipment can be expensive.

“It also demonstrates the need for our confidential Twinline help service. Parents or carers of multiple birth children can call us free on 0800 138 0509 and talk to a fully trained, sympathetic parent of twins or more to talk through their problems and seek guidance on where to turn next.

“Plus the information and support available through material and a much-valued message board on our website at Tamba.org.uk can also address some of the issues faced by parents.

“We launched this survey because in an earlier poll feedback was that families feared the strain on their relationship from having a multiple birth family but no figures were available to measure how widespread that concern was.

“The answers the 1113 respondents have given us show where our services are needed, depending on age range of the children.

“But it’s not all bad news! More than 80 per cent of parents of multiples feel that despite the unique demands of having twins or more, they are doing a good job of parenting their children.”