Is this the summer of Grey Van Man?

‘White van man’ is fast turning into ‘grey van man’ as drought orders and hosepipe bans begin to bite, it was claimed today.

And the increased number of ‘dirty’ vans has been matched by a rise in the witty messages being scrawled across the back doors according to car care firm, Comma.

“It has always been a common sight, but we’re seeing it more and more as firms are restricted on how often they can clean their vehicles,” says Mike Bewsey of Comma.

“The net result is a grey canvas which acts as a wonderful expression of our British dry humour.”

Comma has scoured the country to compile a top ten of British ‘clean me’ messages recorded over the past month as the water restrictions begin to take a visible effect.

Ten of the most common:

1. Also available in white

2. White with a hint of M25

3. How’s my driving? Call 999!

4. Help! Been kidnapped, call police

5. Driver lexdyslic

6. Beware!! Sudden tea breaks

7. Cleaned by Stevie Wonder, checked by David Blunkett

8. Quiet, refugees sleeping

9. I know where you live

10. Shhhh…£53m hidden inside

The traditional ‘Also available in white’ remains the most repeated up and down the land, although ‘Cleaned by Stevie Wonder, checked by David Blunkett’ has started to spring up more often.

Topical and political messages have included ‘Shhhh...£53m still hidden inside’ following the March heist and “Quiet, refugees sleeping,” only to be countered by the traditional jibes at builders with the likes of ‘Beware!!! Sudden tea breaks.”

In amongst the witty remarks, you can find the heart-warming including the message ‘Dad is cool’ besides a simple drawing of a head with a big smile.

“Then there are the ‘seaside postcard’ one liners…but they’re hardly repeatable!” concludes Comma’s Bewsey.