Unlucky in love?

How would you feel about dating or living with someone with a mental health problem? Say you were looking online to meet someone for a few dates or for a more long-term relationship, what would make you think twice before agreeing to meet up with them for a first date?

We all want to find a partner who has similar interests or the same sense of humour, who we’re attracted to or lives in the same area as us. And if they tick all of these boxes they might just be the perfect catch. But what about if they also told you they had a mental health problem – would you change your mind? What would you do?

Although most of us would like to say we don’t have many prejudices, the reality is people with mental health problems face stigma and discrimination in life areas like dating and flatshare. And a new social experiment and research supports this.

The social experiment saw people with mental illnesses place ads on online dating and flatshare sites, firstly without mention of their mental health problem then two weeks later with mention of their mental health problem.

For one of those involved in the study, Erik Baurdoux, the difference in response was staggering.

In phase one, where no mention of his mental illness was made, Erik received 16 emails in reply to his online dating advertisement, however two weeks later when he included a line about his condition, responses dropped by 81% to just three.

The flatshare experiment saw similar results with Erik receiving 303 replies in phase one to just 74 in phase two, a drop of 76%.

“A lot of the time the stigma is hidden because people can choose not to react at all when you disclose your mental illness or even just walk away, so this was a good way to demonstrate what really happens and the type of reactions you get,” said Erik.

The experiment was done in conjunction with research, which found that 57% of people in England saying they would not want to date someone with a mental illness, ahead of finding the person unattractive (44%) or having little in common (43%).

The survey also showed that 60% of people would not rent out a room to someone with a mental illness, comparable to those who would turn down someone who had been in prison (61%).

One well known supporter of Time To Change is Ruby Wax who has herself experienced a mental health problem. She believes “we need to take the stigma out of mental illness. People shouldn’t be ashamed of it. It’s so common it could be anyone. The trouble is, nobody wants to talk about it. And that makes everything worse.”

So what would you do? Come on, be honest.

For more information visit: time-to-change.org.uk